


DC Rain II - Double or Nothing (2/9)

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-01
Updated: 2002-02-01
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:26:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	DC Rain II - Double or Nothing (2/9)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

D.C Rain II - Double or Nothing (2/9)

## D.C Rain II - Double or Nothing (2/9)

by Aries

Title: D.C Rain II - Double or Nothing (2/9)  
Author: Aries  
Feedback to:   
Author's Website:   
Status: Complete  
Category: Unclassified  
Pairing (Primary): Mulder/Krycek  
Pairing(s) (Secondary):   
Crossover Fandom (if any):   
Crossover Info (if any):   
Other Pairing Info:   
Rating: NC-17  
Spoilers:   
Permission to Archive:   
Series or Sequel/Prequel:   
Notes:   
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Disclaimer: 

Summary: 

D.C. Rain II - Double or Nothing  
by Aries  
Part 2 

* * *

Alex arose from a heavy slumber, startled to find a pair of hazy, green-gray eyes staring at him. He closed his eyes and dragged in a deep breath, then opened them as he let it out. 

"What is it?" 

That soft, husky monotone. God, it was real. 

"I j...I thought last night might have been a dream." 

Continuing to stare, Fox said nothing. 

"How long have you been awake?" He really didn't need to ask. He'd learned from the color of Fox's eyes to the timbre of his voice how to determine his state of wakefulness. "Not long. How did you sleep?" "Okay. You?" 

Fox reached out, stroking the younger man's hair. "Better than I have in over a month." He fell silent for a while, letting his hand drift down to Alex's face, caressing the lightly stubbled cheek. 

"Alex?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Did you miss me?" 

The younger man's gaze lowered to Fox's chest, and he nodded. 

"How did it feel?" 

"How did what feel?" 

"Being alone again." 

"....Appropriate." 

Fox emitted a deep sigh. 

"...Excruciating." 

Fox nodded. "How about now?" 

Alex kept his eyes averted. 

"...Awkward...frightening." 

Fox's brow creased. 

"It...I'd hoped it would feel good." 

"I...I don't," Alex stammered, "I'm too scared to feel much else." "Why are you so afraid?" 

"I don't know. I..." Alex went silent, not knowing how to explain. 

Fox moved closer, draping an arm over the other man and pulling him into his warmth. 

"You were scared the first time, remember?" 

"Yeah..." 

"The fear went away, didn't it?" 

"Mostly...after a while." Wary green eyes rose to meet Fox's. "Didn't last for long, though." 

"An unfortunate interruption," Fox murmured, stroking his thumb across Alex's lower lip. "We can pick up where we left off now. Start again if we have to. We'll take it real slow. You'll have complete control." 

Alex cocked his head in curiosity, and Fox gave him a reassuring smile. 

"You tell me what, where, when, how much. My main concern is that you're comfortable. I don't want you to be scared." 

Alex lowered his head, rapidly blinking away the moisture he felt stinging his eyes. 

"All I've done to you, and you still want to take care of me." 

"I love you," Fox answered simply. "And I'll do anything for you." 

Alex knew it was true. And that fact made him ache. 

"S..." God, he hated even saying her name. "Scully said that if you weren't back to work in a week, Skinner was going to have you dismissed." 

"Yeah." 

"You have to go back." 

"I don't have to. If you don't want to go back to D.C., we can stay here. Or we can go someplace else." 

"No," Alex argued softly. "I won't let you give up your job. I'll go back to Washington with you. I was out looking for you this morning to tell you that." 

"Is that what you were doing before you came back here?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh. I thought you might have been..." Fox's voice trailed off and he lowered his eyes. 

Alex knew what he was going to say. 

"No. I was just out looking for you." 

The older man nodded then raised his eyes. "Alex, you don't have to..." 

"I know that," the younger man cut in. "I want to." 

Fox studied the other man, shaking his head. 

"I know I probably shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but...you took off on me...left without a word. We're together after five weeks of hell, only because I came to you, and now you're just going to up and come home with me?" 

"I told you I shouldn't have left," Alex murmured. "It was stupid to let Scully run me off." He forced himself to look up at the older man. "I should have ignored her and listened to you." 

"What you should've done, Alex, was trust that I knew what was in my own heart. 

"Scully sees me as a stubborn child who refuses to do what's good for him just because she says so. So now, she's attempting psychology on the psychologist. She thinks that if she backs off and lets me do what I want to do, that I'll realize on my own, in time, that you're not what I want, and this'll all blow over. Is that the bullshit she tried running on you when she came to see you? She convinced you that I'd be better off if you let me dump you, right?" 

Alex lowered his head and said nothing. 

"It is, isn't it?" 

Still nothing 

"Alex?" 

The younger man raised his head, hearing the soft, emotional utterance of his name. 

"Please don't see me the way she does." Fox cupped the younger man's cheek, eyes searching for what he needed. "Please trust that I know what I want. I didn't follow you all this way just to dump you a few months from now." His thumb rasped across the stubbled flesh. "Have faith in me," he whispered, desperation edging his tone. "I swear to Christ, I won't hurt you." 

So sincere. So damned sure. Why shouldn't he believe? 

"I trust you, Fox," Alex croaked. "It was never a question of that." 

"Then, what is it a question of?" 

Alex sighed and looked away. 

"Can I trust myself?" 

"To do what?" 

"To not fuck up." 

Fox turned the younger man's face back to his. 

"I'm not looking for perfection. Everybody fucks up at some point in their lives. All I need is your love and your trust. Give me those two things, Alex, and the rest will all fall into place." 

Alex snorted softly, shaking his head. 

"I should've known." 

"What?" 

"That you would have figured it out. I'm no better than Scully is, I suppose." 

Fox sought to reassure the younger man. 

"She's very good at knowing how to work a person's vulnerable spots. She knows the guilt you're lugging around. She knows you love me, even if she'll never admit it, and she's trying to use it to rein me in." 

"She wants to keep you from ruining your life. So do I." 

"At your expense. She doesn't care if you come away damaged in this little plot of hers," Fox accurately predicted. "In fact, it'd be a nice little extra added bonus for her, I'm sure." He shrugged. "That's fine. Let her think she's succeeded. She'll figure out in time that I've got exactly what I want, and I'm not letting it go." He rested his forehead against the younger man's, his voice oozing with tenderness. "And so will you." 

Alex closed his eyes, trembling as silent hope swelled in his heart. 

"I want you to be yourself, Alex. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to be flawless for fear that I'll become disillusioned and throw you aside. I know who you are. Baby, look at me." 

Sable eyelashes fluttered then opened, and deep emerald eyes turned up to the older man's face. 

Fox caressed Alex's jaw, and he leaned in, dusting his lips with a soft kiss. 

"I love you. Not some delusional notion of what I could turn you into. Not some non-existent image that my addled, juvenile mind may have cooked up. _You_." He searched the younger man's eyes. "Is any of this filtering through?" 

The younger man drew a shaky breath and nodded. 

"Then why do you still look so scared?" 

"Because I...I don't know what to do." 

"What do you feel like doing?" 

"You probably shouldn't be asking me that." 

"I wouldn't ask if I really didn't want to know....Alex?" 

Silence. 

"Please tell me." 

Alex opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finding his voice. 

"I used to be pretty good at deluding myself," he began hoarsely. "Making myself believe that there wasn't anything or anyone I needed." He turned a glistening gaze on the other man. "You blew all of that right out of the water..." 

Fox lay silently, listening. 

"You said Scully views you as a child....no. Not you. I'm the one. And the thing is, it doesn't feel wrong. I find myself wanting to just...close my eyes and let go. I want to put myself in your hands and let you take care of everything..." 

"If that's really what you want to do," Fox said, gently nuzzling Alex's cheek, "then just go ahead and do it." 

"It's not fair to you," Alex replied almost inaudibly. "You don't need an emotional leech." 

"That's not what you are." 

"It's what I feel like. I want to hold on to you, Fox, and never let go. I'd never felt balance or safety until you brought it to me. And once I had it, I never wanted to lose it. I swear to God, I don't know where I found the nerve to leave you at the cabin. I don't...I don't know how I kept driving. The farther from you I got, the colder it was...the emptier I felt. But I kept hearing..." 

Fox waited to see if Alex would continue. When he didn't, he asked softly, "Hearing what?" 

"Scully's voice." Alex looked cautiously up into the older man's face. "Telling me how I wasn't nearly good enough for you. That I was cheap and unworthy of you. It was easy enough to believe since that's what I'd thought to begin with." 

"Alex..." 

"I knew you loved me, Fox. I did. And I thought that maybe it had blinded you to who I really was. I figured it was easier for Scully to see..." 

"How? If you could think I was blinded by love, why couldn't she be blinded by hatred?" 

Alex bowed his head. "Guess she could. But her opinion of me somehow seemed more accurate." "Does it still?" 

Alex shrugged. "I still think you're crazy for wanting me, but I'm grateful that you do. The last five weeks have been...I can't even describe it. I just...I lived with the agony of what I'd done every minute of every day. But I was determined that I wasn't going to go back and fuck up your life. I...I needed to try and do right by you. Only it turned out to be the stupidest thing I could've done. I never expected you to be out all this time looking for me. You've risked your career...probably spent a small fortune...I'm sorry, Fox. You'll never know how sorry." 

"None of that means anything," Fox answered evenly. "And I don't want those to be the reasons you stay with me. Stay because you love me." 

Alex focused a forlorn stare on the other man. "I left you because I love you." 

Fox nodded and kissed the tip of the younger man's nose. "I knew that," he murmured. "That's why I never gave up looking for you. I had to find you to tell you what an incredibly stupid move you'd made." He gave Alex a lopsided grin. "And to drag you back...hogtied and gagged if necessary." 

Alex emitted a short burst of laughter, ending it on a soft sob as he laid his head against the older man's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, losing his brief struggle to hold back the tears he felt building. "I really screwed up..." 

"It's okay," Fox murmured soothingly. "It's all right now." 

He lay quietly, stroking the younger man's back, listening to his restrained sobs and wishing that the little redheaded horror he'd once thought of as his best friend was here to bear witness. Although she probably wouldn't for a minute believe that Alex's tears were genuine... 

When the tremors had ceased, and Alex had gone completely quiet, Fox lifted his head and smiled down into glassy, bloodshot eyes. 

"So now that you've soaked my shirt..." 

Alex's regard fell to the large wet spot on the older man's celery green... 

He looked up and gave Fox a reticent smile. "Sorry, I..." He gently stroked the material. "I just wanted something of yours." "I didn't even know it was gone. You wear it?" 

"Yeah," Alex croaked, curling his fingers in the loose folds. "I usually sleep in it...I could smell you for a little while, then it faded." 

Fox brought the collar to his nose and inhaled. 

"Now it smells like you. That's why I put it on last night." The back of his hand brushed the underside of the younger man's chin. "I told you before that I missed you, Alex, but it's not sufficient. There aren't words enough." 

Mesmerized by the other man's loving gaze, Alex timidly raised his hand, and his fingers trembled across Fox's mouth. 

"I know," he whispered, moving closer, replacing his fingers with his lips. 

"Every day without you was hell. Every night was a torture worse than anything I'd ever experienced. I'd close my eyes, and I could feel you. I could smell you and taste you, and...I'd open my eyes, and you weren't there." 

"I'm here now." 

Alex nodded in response to the raspy statement then offered his mouth to the older man. He clung tightly to Fox, drowning in his tender kiss and the joy of once again being wrapped in his arms...and in fear of waking up and finding that this was just another vivid dream. 

Fox's fingers tangled in his lover's hair, and he deepened the kiss, compelling Alex to understand that it was real. That he would not vanish and leave him in agony, but as he'd come to realize, Alex's insecurities ran deep, and when Fox tried to break the kiss and pull away, the younger man clutched at him, whimpering softly. 

"I'm not going anywhere," Fox soothed. "Nothing could make me leave you." 

He shifted position, turning Alex flat on his back, then draped himself over the other, stroking a few wild locks of hair away from his face. "I just want you to relax." 

"Stupid, huh?" Alex droned, his voice breaking as he shuddered slightly. "I take off on you, and now I'm afraid of you leaving me." 

"It's not stupid. You feel how you feel." Fox leaned in and placed a tender kiss on the tip of Alex's nose. "If it makes you happy, I won't leave your sight. I can cuff us together if you like." 

Alex reached up and, twining his arms around Fox's neck, pulled the older man down to lie on top of him. 

"I've got no right to ask anything of you," he sighed even as he held Fox tightly to him. "But I can't turn it off. Can't stop it..." 

"It's all right," Fox assured him, kissing the curve of his neck. "You just need some time. The fear will go away." 

But time, if Scully got her wish, would prove to be his enemy. 

No. Oh, no. No, no, no. 

He couldn't go back to the cold desolation of the life that lingered just outside the warm circle of Fox's embrace. He couldn't lie beneath one more man, pretending to enjoy his foul touch while the ghost of Fox's love haunted him. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't. He'd sooner die, and if that turned out to be his only option, then so be it. The world wouldn't be any the poorer for his passing, that was for damn sure. 

But he wanted to stay. Deserving or not, he wanted more than just a few weeks or a few months. He wanted a life revolving around this man lying here with him. He'd gladly pay for his sins a million times over in the next world, but in this one, he needed to realize the paradise promised to him in the beautiful, green-gold eyes that looked on him with such genuine love. 

And he'd do whatever he had to do to keep it. "Baby?" 

Alex pulled himself out of his thoughts and turned glassy eyes up to the other man. 

"You were pretty far away," Fox said softly, brushing his fingertips over the younger man's cheek. "What were you thinking about?" 

"Just...how grateful I am that I've got a second chance to do this right. And I will," he vowed. "I promise, Fox, I won't screw up again. I won't...I won't give you any reason to regret wanting me back." 

Figuring that any type of argument at that moment would be pointless, Fox simply nestled into Alex's embrace, scattering soft kisses over the younger man's throat and collarbone. When he lifted his head and looked down, it was into eyes filled with so much love and pain, that his heart skipped several beats before finally settling into a hard rhythm. 

"Alex." 

Liquid, emerald eyes stared up at the older man in silent response. 

Fox lowered his head, brushing his mouth over Alex's. 

"Do something for me." 

"Anything," Alex whispered, meaning it with his whole heart and soul. 

"Put everything out of your mind. Absolutely everything...and let me make love to you." 

The room temperature felt to Alex as though it had shot up thirty degrees, yet he began to shiver like it had dropped well below freezing. 

"Alex?" Concern glazed Fox's eyes as he rolled to his side, pulling Alex into his arms. "What is it? Tell me what's wrong." 

"You want me," Alex gasped softly then closed his eyes and buried his face in Fox's shirt. "Even though I..." 

"Jesus, Alex, of course I do," Fox interrupted, hugging the younger man to him. "Do you not understand that that's what I've been saying to you?" 

"I...I'm just...you know what I've been out here doing." Alex looked up at the older man, sheer misery etching his features. "I left you and everything I knew of love, and came back to this." He trembled more violently. "What does that say about me? God, Fox, you're too good for this filth. You shouldn't have to accept it..." 

"Alex, listen to me." Fox kissed the sable head and ran his hand slowly up and down the other man's back. "I hate that other men have touched you. I hated it when you weren't mine, and I detest it even more now that you are. But I love you. And I know that in your heart it isn't something you wanted to do. I know you're hurting, baby. Let me try and make it better." 

Two drops of moisture slid from the tips of Alex's lashes as he blindly searched for his lover's mouth, easily finding the soft warmth. He broke the kiss only briefly to tilt his head into a more comfortable position, and when he returned, he could taste the salt of his own tears on Fox's mouth. 

"Love you," he croaked between desperate kisses. "S-so much." 

"I know," Fox breathed, gently rolling Alex onto his back. "Never doubted it." 

Alex lay panting, trying unsuccessfully to control the violent tremors that passed through him as Fox began to slowly remove his shirt. 

"And I love you," the older man swore. "No matter what." He pulled Alex's arms out of the shirt and let it drop to the floor. As he started on the previously unbuttoned jeans, he shifted his head, bringing his mouth in line with the other man's ear. "And you belong to me," he rasped possessively, knowing it was what Alex needed to hear. 

Alex drew in a stuttering breath and let it out as the heat of Fox's words danced along each raw nerve. He clung helplessly to the older man as he was stripped of the rest of his clothing, and when Fox's weight lifted off of him, he opened his eyes, panicking only momentarily until he realized that Fox was now undressing himself. 

Starved green eyes watched as Fox slithered out of his shirt then went to work on his pants, smoothly removing all of which stood in the way of mind numbing pleasure. The instant the last article of clothing hit the floor, Alex held his arms out, welcoming his lover's naked body back into his embrace. 

"Jesus, I missed you," he gasped, running his hands over Fox's back and the curve of his rear just before the older man took his mouth in a breath-stealing kiss. 

The bright light that flooded the room faded to a dull red as Alex's eyes closed, and he sank into an ocean of sensuality. 

More than a month had passed, but nothing had changed. Desire for this man still burned as hot as it had then. It consumed Alex, obliterating every thought that didn't revolve directly around his need to die that shattering, exquisite death in his lover's arms and be brought back to life with soft words of love and the tenderest of kisses... 

Fox pulled away from Alex's mouth, his heart pounding triple time as he watched his lover's sinfully long lashes flutter and rise. Forest green eyes stared up at him, and that perfect mouth formed words which Fox strained to hear. 

"Could kiss you forever." 

The older man smiled down at the one beneath him. 

"For a man who refused to let me kiss him at all at first..." 

"Refused everybody. Don't know why, but I had to preserve some part of myself. But that second night with you...even though I didn't know it was you...you made me feel so wanted. So safe. I wanted to give you everything...all that I had left. I still do." Alex gazed up at the older man, a thoroughly, heartbreakingly earnest expression in his eyes. "Please, Fox. Take it all. I realize it isn't enough, but all I've got is yours." 

Fighting the sudden threat of tears, Fox lowered his head, his soft, shuddering sigh whispering over Alex's lips before he began to feed gently on them. His trembling hands wandered, rediscovering the familiar, satiny texture of his lover's skin, and all at once, the urge to taste it overwhelmed him. 

Alex stifled a small cry as Fox's mouth left his and began a lazy trek over his chin and down his convulsing throat, sucking and licking at every inch of skin in its path. Fox's soft growl of pleasure as Alex kneaded and caressed the tensing muscles of his back, resonated throughout the younger man's body, and fueled his desire to please his lover. He arched beneath Fox, moaning his name as the older man moved lower, letting the tip of his tongue flick across a constricted nipple, and Fox shivered at the sound. 

To hear Alex's voice again, so soft and pleading, calling his name, swelled his heart and his cock to ludicrous proportions. 

"What is it, baby?" he whispered then pulled the nipple into his mouth, dragging his tongue across the tip as he sucked lightly. 

Alex whimpered frantically as he writhed beneath the other man, and his fingers dug into Fox's shoulders, squeezing the flexing muscles. 

"Fox..." his voice trailed off, fading into a low hum as the other man's teeth grazed over the nipple, and he moved over to its neglected twin. 

Having lavished equal attention on the second brown peak, Fox lifted his head and focused a smoldering, gilded stare on the younger man. 

"Hearing you say my name still makes my cock throb." 

Alex moaned at hearing the stark admission and slipped one hand between them to caress his lover's rigid organ. "So warm," he whispered, letting his fingers glide lazily over the shaft. "I've been so cold inside, Fox. So dead way deep down inside. I miss your heat. I need it..." 

Half closed eyes studied the younger man, and Fox moved his hand down to cover the one stroking slowly over his cock. "It's there for you. You feel it?" 

Alex nodded, releasing a quivering rush of breath before submitting to his lover's kiss. 

Drowning in tenderness, he hardly noticed when Fox grasped both of his hands, pinning them to the mattress on either side of his head. Only when Fox broke the kiss an eternity later and moved down to suck at the curve of his shoulder, did he fully realize that he'd been restrained. 

Squirming beneath the older man's grip, Alex panted and whimpered, his actions conveying his arousal as eloquently as any coherent words could have. Fox's answering growl as he moved on to the younger man's exposed throat spoke of his own excitement, and when Alex arched up against his mouth, he had all he could do not to sink his teeth into the tender flesh. 

Contenting himself with inflicting a vivid mark of possession, Fox dragged his tongue across the wounded patch of skin then looked up at the other. 

"We need a couple of rubbers." 

Alex wiggled under the other man and tried to stretch in the direction of the nightstand. 

"I'll get them." 

"Don't you move," Fox commanded softly, pressing Alex's hands to the mattress for emphasis. "I'll get them." 

Pulling the drawer open, he shifted slightly to look inside. The sight of five boxes of condoms and several tubes of lubrication in the deep compartment shook him for a moment, but he composed himself quickly, took what he needed, and returned to his lover. 

Remorseful green eyes met Fox's gaze, but Alex said nothing. 

What the hell could he possibly say? He caught the look on Fox's face as the older man got a load of his 'work supplies', and no matter how well aware Fox was that Alex had gone back to hustling...no matter how quickly he had recovered from the initial jolt of seeing the contents of the drawer, it wasn't fast enough to keep Alex from seeing that 'slapped across the face' hurt in his eyes. 

Unable to face that look, he started to turn away. 

"Don't," was all that Fox said, grasping a handful of sable hair, giving Alex no other choice but look up directly into his eyes. 

How this man could still want him, and, Christ, still love him was far beyond his capacity to understand... 

Eyes never leaving his lover's face, Fox ripped one package open and rolled the condom over his own erection then opened the other and gently slipped it down over Alex's cock. 

"What do you want me to do, Alex?" he asked softly, lubing himself. "Do you want me to lose my mind? Tear this place apart and beat you within an inch of your life for running out on what we had and coming back to what you'd promised me you were through with?" 

He lifted the younger man slightly, positioning the head of his cock between the cheeks of the other's ass. 

"Do you want me to wring my hands and whine and cry over all the men you've fucked after you swore I was all you wanted?" 

He pushed slowly, stretching the ring of muscle he encountered, and drawing a soft sob from the man beneath him. 

"You want to witness the vast extent of my pain so you can feel justified in hating yourself and then go and fulfill the destiny you still believe is yours? Or do you want me to just come to my senses, get my ass the hell out of here as fast as I can, and never look back?" 

Alex pressed his lips together in an attempt to prevent their trembling, and said nothing. 

"Can't do any of that," Fox gasped, plunging deeper into his lover's body. "I love you. It doesn't matter how many men you've fucked. Nothing could hurt me more than losing you." 

A choked cry broke past the compressed lips as Alex twisted the sheets in his clenched fists. 

"You don't belong to that life," Fox pressed on, establishing a steady rhythm. "I won't let it have you." He picked up the pace as desire and anxiety increased. "You're*mine*." 

Alex's eyes filled with tears as joy, agony, and the intense need for release clashed within him. Unable to sort out the massive jumble of emotions, the tears began to flow, and his muffled cries became louder and more frenzied until he lost complete control. 

"It's okay," Fox whispered brokenly, grasping his distraught lover's cock and pumping it in time to his thrusts. "Let...let it all out..." 

And Alex did let it out. All the pain, all the love, all the misery and hate and pent up hunger came pouring out all at once, catching both men up in its fury. Sobbing frantically, he clung to Fox, fighting to keep them connected as Fox reared back into a kneeling position. He wrapped his legs around the older man, bearing down to insure that the cock inside him was in as far as it could go, then he began to rock wildly, urging Fox to match his pace. 

Clamping both arms around the younger man, Fox pulled him closer, trapping his cock between them and moved in counterpoint to Alex's erratic thrashing. "Been too long," he grated, feeling the finish fast approaching. He pulled Alex's head up off of his shoulder and looked into overflowing eyes. "You're home, baby." His fingers curled just a bit more tightly in the sable strands they held, pulling Alex's head down and brushing their cheeks together as he breathed into the younger man's ear, "Come for me." 

Alex clawed at Fox's back, whimpering wildly as they rocked against each other, and he felt the beginning of his climax approach. He wrapped himself tightly around his lover, holding on to Fox as if he'd never let go, and the older man released the grip on his hair, allowing Alex to drop his head onto his shoulder. 

Fox hugged the other man to him, glorying in the heat of his lover's passion and suffering every fragment of his agony as they tumbled together into the abyss. He grated urgent, broken words of love into Alex's ear as the younger man thrashed against him, wailing harshly, and when his own roars of pleasure died, and he again became aware of his surroundings, he realized that Alex was now slumped against him, shuddering violently, his shoulder muffling the younger man's cries. 

Finding the strength he needed to move, Fox leaned forward, gently lowering Alex to the mattress. Using one hand to support the other's back, he used the other to withdraw his cock and remove the condom. Next, he slid Alex's rubber off of his spent organ and disposed of both, then settled himself over the younger man's chest. He brushed a few damp strands of hair away from Alex's forehead and kissed one tear-drenched cheek before speaking. 

"Easy, sweetheart," he said softly to the gasping man as he forced himself to control his own emotions. "Come on, take a breath." 

With much coaxing from the older man, Alex's sobbing abated, and he finally managed to get his respiration under limited control. The tremors, however, remained, vibrating through his body at regular intervals. 

"You gonna be okay?" 

Alex looked up into his lover's concerned face, and then his eyes snapped shut. The tremors again turned to intense shudders as he fought to hold back a fresh round of tears. "Alex?" 

//I'm so scared, Fox, I know what you said but...I want to be what you want, I'll try so hard, just don't ever leave me or make me leave, please, I couldn't take being away from you again...I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good...// 

"M'okay." 

"You're not." 

Alex forced himself to open his eyes and look up at the other man. 

"I...am, I...never...never thought I'd see you again, or..." Alex took a great gulp of air to try and steady his words. "...touch you..." 

Fox believed the few words Alex had just spoken, but he wasn't so stupid as to believe that was all there was to it. Sighing softly, he rolled onto his back and pulled the younger man into his arms. 

Alex responded immediately, wrapping his arms around Fox, tucking his hands between the older man's back and the bed. Head wedged securely under Fox's chin, he squeezed his eyes shut and pretended, even if just for a minute, that none of the previous five weeks had ever happened. He'd never run away, leaving Fox to wonder what the hell had happened...never picked up and moved and did the things that he'd done...he'd never been disloyal to the one person in the world he'd rather die than betray. 

He'd never let all those men fuck him... 

Yeah, he had. 

He stifled a tiny whimper as the images of every customer he'd had in the past five weeks spun in his head. 

The rodeo cowboy from Oklahoma who was apparently fond of riding his men as hard as he did the broncos he busted...the boxer who just had to take his split decision loss out on somebody...the Shriner who preferred to sit back whacking off while Alex and another hooker went at it... 

Then, of course, there was that gang bang he'd been the guest of honor at not long after he'd arrived in Vegas... 

He'd had so many cocks up his ass and in his mouth that night, he'd lost count. And when it was over, he'd simply gotten up, got dressed, and walked away without a second look or a word to any of them. 

He'd returned to his apartment directly and, not even bothering to remove his jacket, dropped down onto the sofa and pulled the wad of cash from his pocket. He'd spread the money out on the coffee table and sat staring at it long after the faint rays of the morning sun had come filtering in through the blinds. Then, finally at around nine a.m., he rose, leaving the money where it was, and showered and crawled into bed, where he'd remained for an entire twenty four hours. 

So many thoughts had passed through his head in the few waking hours he'd had, not the least of which was the very tempting desire to bring his long ignored gun out of retirement and use it one last time. But something kept stopping him. 

He'd very easily ruled out the will to live; an existence without the one he'd loved and abandoned was hardly what he could call living. Cowardice had been a definite no as well. He'd never feared death, and in this case, it would be a welcome visitor. 

But, he'd convinced himself that a quick death would have been too good an end for him. He'd deserved every bit of the agony he was suffering and more. That was it. Punishment. Severe and painful as possible. It was what he'd deserved. It was all he'd deserved. 

And so the next morning, he'd risen. And started it all over again. So it had gone until last night, when he'd walked in and found his heart's deepest desire asleep here in his bed. And the hell of what he'd done had stepped forward to lay claim to his soul. But now Fox was here. He'd come for what was his. And hell was in for one bitch of a knock down, drag out fight... 

"Every night," Fox murmured, kissing the top of the younger man's head, "I lay awake in some strange bed, and I thought about the nights we'd spent together...remembering how good it felt to have my arms around you..." He let one hand glide up and down the other's back. "...How smooth your skin was...the sound of your voice, all soft and breathless after we'd both come, telling me how much you loved me. All those things and so much more are what kept me looking for you. I knew it wasn't a lie, what we had. And I knew that you were hurting just as much as I was." 

Alex hugged Fox tightly and nodded. "I'm sorry," he sniffed. "I was so stupid. So..." 

"Messed up," Fox interjected. "And scared. And easily thrown off balance." 

"Guess I still am." 

Fox coaxed Alex to look up at him. "It's okay. We'll get through it together. I love you, baby, and I'm here. I always will be, I promise." He tightened his hold on the younger man. "We're going to fix everything. And we're going to have that life we talked about before Scully came and ruined it." 

Silence. "Alex?" 

The sable head lifted, and Alex fixed an unsteady gaze on the other. 

"I heard you," he whispered and attempted to give Fox a smile. 

"But you don't believe me." 

Again Alex lowered his head to Fox's chest, trying to get closer to his lover's warmth. 

"I believe you," He said, trying to sound convincing. He might have got away with it had it been anyone else he'd said it to, but Fox could hear the undercurrent of uncertainty running through every word. 

//Talk is cheap, Mulder. It hasn't done a whole lot for you so far, remember? 

Just show him. And keep showing him until he gets it.// 

"Hey." "Hmm?" 

"I just realized I'm starving. How about some breakfast?" 

Alex lifted his head and shrugged as he looked down at Fox's chin. 

"I don't know that I've got a whole lot here. Haven't been to the store in a while..." 

"That's okay," Fox answered, his hands continuously moving over his lover's bare skin. "I was actually thinking about going out for something, anyway." 

"Oh. Uh...yeah, w-well, I could," Alex stuttered trying to lift himself away from Fox, "go get something and bring it back..." 

Fox held on to the younger man for a moment as he studied him, then nodded and loosened his grip. 

"If that's what you want to do," he said quietly and evenly. "But I'll go. Name your poison. Bagels, donuts...Egg McMuffins...whatever. Just point me in the right direction, and I'll run out and pick it up." 

"No, you stay here and rest," Alex insisted, squirming out of the circle of Fox's arms. "I'll go." 

With a soft sigh, Fox released the younger man and watched him rise. He tracked Alex's every move as he drifted naked around the room, gathering his attire for the day. Then he disappeared into the tiny hall giving only a quick backward glance, and a ghost of a smile. 

Fox heard the faint sound of the shower going on, then he propped himself up against the pile of pillows he'd arranged, and he sat staring at the nearest window. 

Window. 

He sat up quickly, startled as a thought entered his mind. 

//Shit, is there a window in there?// 

//No, stupid, think about it. There are only windows on this side of the apartment. The bathroom's on the other side.// 

Fox relaxed against the pillows and let out a deep sigh of relief. 

//But you can't see the bathroom from here. What if he just leaves the water running and sneaks out the door?// 

//Knock that shit off. He won't do that. He promised you last night. Trust him the way you want him to trust you.// 

Fox eased himself back against the pillows and sat quietly, eyes closed, until some five minutes later he heard the water shut off. He opened his eyes then, and let out a long breath. 

Minutes later, Alex appeared dressed in faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt. His still damp hair glistened in the morning light as he tentatively approached the bed and stopped about four feet in front of it. 

"I'm uh...I'm gonna go now," the younger man announced, meeting Fox's eyes briefly before he started to turn away. 

"Alex." 

The single word stopped him in his tracks and turned him around to face the man in his bed. 

Fox crooked two fingers, motioning for Alex to approach, and he did, stopping when his thighs hit the edge of the mattress. Fox reached up and, curling the fingers of one hand in his t-shirt, pulled him down for a tender yet thorough kiss. 

"Don't be long," the older man instructed softly, nuzzling Alex's cheek and jaw. 

"I w...I won't," Alex responded, more than a bit disconcerted by his lover's nearness, and the strong reaction of his body not more than an hour after they had finished making love. 

Fox smiled and kissed him again then released his hold on the shirt. 

"See you soon." 

Alex nodded and took a few steps backward, then turned and exited the room quietly, leaving Fox alone. 

Hearing the front door close, Fox slid down until he was lying flat then turned onto his side, pulling a pillow to his chest. He closed his eyes and smiled as he inhaled the lingering scent of his lover. 

//Hardest part's done. I've got him back. All I need now is time and patience, and the rest'll come.// 

Fox yawned and hauled himself out of bed, heading for the bathroom and a warm shower. 

* * *

"Four cinnamon raisin bagels and...gimme a half a pound of cream cheese and two large coffees, black." 

"He takes his coffee with cream and sugar." 

Alex spun around and looked down into the grim face of lover's partner. Composing himself, he cocked his head a bit to the side and gave her a slight sneer. 

"Three sugars and a splash of cream to be exact, but this place never gets a coffee order right, so I'll add the cream and sugar when I get it back to my place." 

"So, he's still there." 

"Obviously. And what are you doing here, Scully? You following me?" 

"No, my friends and I," she said, nodding to the two sitting in the corner who were trying desperately not to look like they were watching, "were having breakfast. This is obviously a popular place despite the fact that they can't get a coffee order straight." She changed the subject. "He was supposed to call me. I'm still waiting. You couldn't take your dick out of his mouth long enough for him to call and say that he was all right and let me know what he was going to do?" 

Ignoring the dig, Alex answered. 

"I'm sure he'll call you when he's ready." 

"He'd better be ready soon, Krycek. We don't have a whole lot of time. I have to call Skinner." 

Alex turned to pay for his purchases then picked the bags up off of the counter. 

"I'll remind him," Alex mumbled and started to walk away. 

"You do that. Hey, Alex." 

The man stopped and waited. 

"Aren't you going to thank me?" 

Alex pivoted slowly, glaring at the redhead. 

"What the hell for?" 

"For bringing him to you. I'm sure you two are as cozy as a couple of little lovebirds about now, aren't you?" 

Refusing to give her the satisfaction, Alex again turned to leave, Scully's words following him as he walked toward the exit. 

"Enjoy it while it lasts." 

Frohike and Langly quickly bowed their heads, feigning intense interest in their breakfast as Alex tossed them a glance on his way out. Both men looked up, waiting expectantly for Scully to fill them in when she came back to the table. When the woman did nothing but glower into her coffee cup, Langly spoke up. "So, what's the deal?" 

"Mulder's still there at Krycek's apartment," Scully muttered. "They're having breakfast. Isn't that sweet?" 

"Everybody's gotta eat," Frohike commented. "What's so sweet about that?" 

Scully responded with a silent glare. "Is he gonna call you or what?" 

"When he's damn good and ready, it would seem," Scully answered Langly's question then picked up her fork, inspecting the tip of each tine with the pad of her index finger. 

The two men practically jumped out of their seats as did a good number of people in their immediate vicinity when Scully suddenly slammed the utensil down on the table. 

"Hey, red, come on," Frohike whispered, giving a few people an apologetic smile. "Take it easy." 

" _Easy_ ," the irritated woman grated. "Are you kidding me?" 

"You're the one who decided it'd be better to get them back together, remember?" Frohike continued to whisper. "Well, now they are. So, what's your beef?" 

"Nothing," Scully snapped. "Okay? Nothing." 

The two men cast sidelong glances at each other, and Langly reached out and patted Scully's hand. 

"It must be pretty hard on you, I guess." 

Cerulean eyes darted up to the blonde man's face. 

"What must be pretty hard?" 

"Well, you know....Mulder...and Krycek. You two have been closer than this." He display two crossed fingers. "There had to be some kind of feelings there, and then Mulder just up and falls in love with someone else...Alex Krycek to be exact. It's gotta be pretty damn hard to take." 

Scully blew out a soft snort. "Mulder's my best friend, Frohike. I want him to be happy." 

Bushy eyebrows raised above the rims of the small man's glasses. 

"Well...what if he is happy? I mean, he's got to be wild about this guy. Why else would he spend over a month looking for him?" 

"Pure, unadulterated insanity?" 

"Is that any way to talk about your partner?" 

Scully cut her eyes away and said nothing. 

"So," Langly pushed, "if you're not jealous, why else would you be so bent out of shape about this?" 

"Hell-o!" Scully practically growled. "The man my partner thinks he's in love with is a hooker! And before that, he was a spy. A liar. An assassin. Can you morons really not see why I'm so upset about this?" 

In unison, the two men looked down at their hands and said nothing. 

"Guys," Scully called softly, immediately regretting what she'd said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so...I guess this thing has got me a little crazy." 

The two eyed Scully warily but said nothing. 

"You guys have been a huge help to me. If it weren't for you, Mulder's life and career might have been toast by now." She sighed heavily. "Although it still might be if I can't call Skinner soon and tell him for sure that Mulder'll be back." "Did you mention anything about it to Krycek?" 

"Yeah. He said he'd bring it up to Mulder." 

"Well," Langly said around a mouthful of garlic bagel, "I guess all we can do is sit back and wait." 

Scully sat drumming her fingers on the table, her mind racing. 

"No. Uh uh." 

"Uh uh what?" Frohike asked, suspicion creeping into his tone. 

"I'm not waiting." 

"What d'you mean, you're not..." 

Before Frohike could finish the question, Scully was up and heading for the door. 

"Scully..." Frohike threw an incredulous glance at his companion then called again to the redhead. "Scully! Where the hell are you going?" 

"Wait to hear from me," she called, throwing the door open and disappearing into the mid-morning crowd. 

"Ohhh, crap." Frohike turned to the blonde, shaking his head. "Tell me she's not gonna do what I think she's gonna do." 

"No can do," Langly replied, then met his friend's eye. "Have you ever seen her so unreasonable? I mean, I know what she just said, but I've seen Mulder throwing himself into other really bad situations, and she's never lost her cool like this." 

"I know what you mean," Frohike murmured, again looking to the door. "I wonder what the hell's going on." 

* * *

"Mmmm." Green-gold eyes fluttered open, and Alex removed his hand from Fox's cheek. Sinfully lush lips turned up into a sleepy smile, and the older man stretched then pulled himself up into a semi-sitting position. "Damn, I fell asleep?" 

"Guess so." 

"Was more tired than I thought, I guess. I got up after you left and had a shower to wake myself up." Fox grinned. "Maybe I should have taken a cool shower instead of a warm one. So, you just get back?" 

Alex nodded then held a styrofoam cup out in offering. Fox took the cup, and Alex reached for the one he'd placed on the nightstand. 

"Thanks." Fox took a sip of a hot liquid before refocusing his attention on Alex. "You okay?" 

"Yeah." Alex forced a smile then got up. "I'm going to go toast the bagels. You want me to bring them to you, or..." 

"No, I'll get up." Fox handed the cup back to Alex and slid out of bed. "Uh, you got something I can borrow?" 

Alex set both cups down on the nightstand and, doing his best to keep from staring at his lover's naked form, he started to rummage through his dresser drawers. "Sorry, I should've thought to get some clothes out for you." 

"S'okay." Fox walked up behind the younger man and ran his hands up and down his back. "God, you're tight. Alex, are you sure you're okay? If you're not, I wish you'd tell me." 

Alex turned around cradling a pair of jeans, some underwear and a t-shirt. He handed the items to Fox and shrugged. 

"Y-you gotta call Scully." 

"I know," Fox answered a bit suspiciously. "I was going to do it after breakfast. What made you think of that?" 

"She was...she was at the bagel place with Frohike and the other one. What's his name, the blonde." 

"Langly." 

"Anyway, they were down there having breakfast, and she saw me." 

"What'd she say?" Fox asked, anger already edging his tone. 

"Said she's been waiting for you to call her." 

"Yeah, well, she can wait a little longer. We're going to have a nice, leisurely breakfast, then I'll call her." 

Fox dropped the clothing onto the bed and began to dress. 

"What else did she say?" 

"Not much." 

"Not much has got you wound up tighter than a spring?" 

Alex shrugged. "Just being near her is stressful, you know?" 

Before Fox could reply, a knock sounded at the door. An immediate crease formed between Alex's brows, and he gave his lover a curious look. 

As Fox quickly finished dressing, Alex left the room to see who was knocking. "Who's there?" he called, stamping down the feeling of dread that washed over him when no one answered. 

Fox entered the room, fully dressed, weapon drawn, and he nodded at Alex to open the door. 

A pair of startled blue eyes stared down the barrel of Fox's gun as the door flew open. "God!" 

Fox secured the weapon and glared down at the woman, who stood panting in Alex's doorway. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

"Why've you got your weapon drawn?" 

"Force of habit, I guess." 

Scully looked from her partner to his lover then back again. 

"Did he tell you he saw me? Did he give you my message?" 

Alex muttered something which neither of the other two caught, and retreated into the kitchen. Fox, on the other hand, took an aggressive stance, blocking Scully's entrance. 

"Yes, Scully, he did. So, why are you here? Why didn't you wait for me to call you?" 

"Because I wasn't entirely sure he'd tell you. Look, Mulder, just answer a question for me, and I'll let you two get back to...whatever. Are you coming back to Washington?" 

"Yes." 

"When?" 

"That's two questions, Scully. You said _a_ question." 

"Mulder, stop being such a pain in the ass, would you? If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have spent last night all snuggly and warm with..." Scully waved in the direction in which Alex had gone. "Now, dammit, give me something I can call Skinner with." 

"We'll see about getting a flight out tomorrow, okay? Is that good enough for you?" 

"Fine." 

"Wonderful. Now go call Skinner, grab the first flight back to Washington, and leave us the hell alone. Oh. Wait. You answer a question for me." 

"What?" 

"What did you say to Alex earlier?" 

"What do you mean? 

"I think it's a pretty straightforward question, Scully. What did you say to him?" 

"Nothing. I asked him if you were still here, he said yes, and I asked him to ask you to call me. He said okay, and he left." 

"And that was it." 

"That was it." 

"Bullshit." 

"Well, I see you've already made up your mind that there was more to it, Mulder, so why'd you even bother to ask me?" 

"I guess I was just hoping that you'd tell me the truth." "What'd Krycek tell you?" 

"Pretty much the same thing you did." 

"So, he's lying too?" Scully emitted an exaggerated gasp. "Nooo. Can't be. Saint Alex a liar?" 

"Get out." 

"Mulder. God, Mulder..." 

"I don't want to hear it." 

"Mulder, I'm sorry. I'm...I know you don't like to hear anything against Krycek, but I...you're so blind when it comes to him." 

Fox cocked his head, giving the woman a blank stare. "You're so dead set against Alex and me, yet you go and bring us back together." "Would you have come home without him?" 

"Nope." 

"Well, there you go. I did what I had to do to salvage what's left of your career." 

"And that's all, huh?" 

"What do you mean?" 

Fox snorted and shook his head. 

"Nothing, Scully, just go home. My coffee is getting cold." 

"Fine. I guess I'll see you back in D.C." 

"Yeah, right." 

Scully nodded and, not knowing what else to do, turned and left, twitching at the slam of the door behind her. 

Fox stood at the door for a number of seconds, breathing deeply, then he made his way to the kitchen, where Alex was just pulling the bagels from the toaster. 

"Sorry about that." 

Green eyes rose to meet Fox's gaze. 

"She didn't think I'd give you the message, right?" 

"Right." Fox approached the other man and wound his arms around his waist. "What'd you say just before you left the room?" A smirk curved his lips. "Were you calling her bad names in Russian?" 

Alex returned the grin. "Maybe one or two." 

Fox's amused chuckle preceded a soft kiss, and then he backed up, tugging Alex along with him. 

"Let's have breakfast." 

For the next half hour, the two sat quietly eating, exchanging brief, sweet glances, and when they were through, Fox rose to clear the table. 

"I'll do that," Alex offered, but was gently rebuffed . "Uh uh," Fox responded, pushing the younger man back into his seat. "You went out and got breakfast; I'll clean up." 

Offering no more argument, Alex watched as his lover disposed of the remnants of their bagels then proceeded to wash the used utensils. 

"So, how'd you get rid of her?" he asked softly. 

Fox shrugged. "Told her we'd get a flight out tomorrow, then I told her to get lost." 

Alex nodded, a bit of a smile touching his lips. 

"Guess I'd better look like getting my stuff packed, then." 

Fox turned around, leveling an apologetic gaze on the other. 

"I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't...I wasn't thinking about the fact that you'd have to clear things up here first." 

"It's okay," Alex answered, rising from his chair. "It's not like I'd signed a lease or anything. And the furniture belongs to the apartment, so all I really have to worry about is my personal stuff. Go ahead and book for tomorrow." 

Fox approached the other man and pulled him against his chest. 

"You sure? It's no big deal if we take a couple more days..." 

"Yes, it is a big deal. Fox, you've been AWOL for weeks. It's a miracle you've still got a job to go back to. Scully's going to tell Skinner you're flying back tomorrow. If you don't show up when he expects you, he'll be well justified in canning you. You can't let that happen." 

"I can't bring myself to care as much as I guess I'm supposed to." Fox lifted one hand and traced the line of Alex's lower lip with his fingertips. "You're what I care about." 

"Fox..." 

A ghost of a smile touched the other man's lips. "I never expected this, Alex. Not in a million years. I never asked for it, but here it is. I love you and without you, I don't care about anything." 

"You don't mean that, Fox. It isn't in you not to care," Alex argued softly. "You couldn't have come as far as you have without caring. You couldn't have stopped Smokey and his boys and saved the whole damn world without caring." 

"I couldn't have done it without you...and a number of other people, but mostly you." Fox pulled Alex closer. "I let myself conveniently forget that fact. And I let you go. I was stupid. But that's not what we were talking about. You..." He backed Alex to the counter and pressed against him. "...are my priority." 

Alex stared mesmerized into twin pools of green and gold as Fox leaned in close. 

"We go together, or I don't go." 

Alex closed his eyes and said nothing. 

"You and me," Fox whispered, tugging at the fringe of hair at the base of his lover's neck. He nuzzled the stubbled cheek and planted a soft kiss there, then pulled back. "Baby?" 

No response. 

"Alex, open your eyes." 

Sable lashes rose, unveiling forest green eyes, shimmering with uncertainty and regret. 

"I'm here. Hold on to me as tightly as you want to, for as long as you need to. I'll never push you away. I swear on my life." "Never?" 

"Never." 

"Even if you were sick to death of me clinging to you?" 

Fox drew a hand up and down the younger man's back. 

"How could I ever get sick of you?" 

"It could happen." 

"Alex, I'd spend every second of every day with you if you'd let me. That's no exaggeration." Fox cupped the other man's chin in his palm. "I know it's probably not easy for you to do, but if you would act on that desire to let go and allow me to take care of you, I promise I'd do a good job." 

"I know you would." 

Fox moved in, brushing soft kisses over Alex face. "Then let me," he whispered, catching the younger man's earlobe between his teeth and tugging gently. 

Alex's arms snaked around his lover's waist, and he unconsciously writhed against him. 

"You make me want to. God, so much." 

"You can, baby," Fox purred against his lover's unshaven cheek. "You just have to have complete faith in me...and yourself." 

Alex studied Fox for the longest time, searching the sparkling depths of his eyes. 

//It'll be all right. Be everything he could ever need or want, and he'll let you stay.// 

//Didn't he say he wants you to be yourself?// 

"That's not good enough." 

"What?" 

Dazed eyes blinked then turned up the Fox's face. 

"Hmm?" 

"You said something." 

"I...I did?" 

"Yeah. You were mumbling though; I couldn't make it out." 

Alex shook his head, stuttering softly. 

"I...I, I don't know. I...I didn't realize I was saying anything." 

Fox watched the eyes that looked everywhere but at him. 

"Alex." 

The younger man forced his gaze to stop wandering and focus on the concerned face before him. 

Making a last minute decision to say nothing, Fox leaned forward and took Alex's mouth in a tender kiss. His semi-erect cock stiffened quickly at the sound of the other man's soft moan and the warm press of their bodies, and when Alex's tongue slipped into his mouth, it began to throb. 

His lover's breathy groan vibrated against his mouth, and Alex plunged his fingers into the silky, golden brown strands of Fox's hair, deepening the kiss. If only this was all there was to it. If sex alone would keep him in Fox's good graces, he'd have no worries at all. But Fox went so much deeper, and as profuse as his reassurances were, Alex did worry. The uncertainty of his future with the only man he'd ever love would plague him until the day Fox booted him to the curb... 

Every nerve ending in Fox's body tingled as Alex spun them around, now trapping him against the counter. For that one brief instant the other man released his mouth then claimed it again, this kiss infinitely more hungry than the last. 

Alex felt the change. The posture Fox had assumed. The tone of his moans, the way his hands moved as they stroked his back. He read the older man's needs precisely, and he gave him what he desired. 

Fox grunted softly into Alex's mouth as the other man's hand slid down over his ass, pulling him closer. The gentle grind of the younger man's hips turned the grunt to a sigh, and when Alex pulled away and took his hand, he followed willingly, moving through the living room and back into the bedroom. 

Pulling Fox back into a sizzling kiss, Alex worked the older man's shirt out of his jeans and let his hands wander underneath, caressing and kneading the tense muscles of his back. His tongue pushed into Fox's mouth, stroking and teasing, and when the man in his arms began to writhe against him, he broke the kiss and backed him to the bed. 

"Lie down," he commanded softly, dragging his tongue across Fox's mouth. Fox fell onto his back, gazing up at his lover through a heavy veil of lashes. His unsteady respiration grew more erratic as he watched Alex peel his shirt off and slowly undo his jeans, freeing his cock from the confines of the denim. Forest green eyes never left his as the younger man stroked himself. 

"I missed you so much," he murmured, squeezing himself gently. "I'd close my eyes at night and imagine you here with me..." His eyes drifted shut for a moment, and when they reopened, they appeared nearly black. "...that mouth...God, that unbelievable mouth around my cock, driving me so fucking insane. I never felt so good or so wanted." His hand stopped, and he stared intently down into the other man's eyes. "Do you want me, Fox?" 

Fox nodded, gasping softly. 

"Take your clothes off." 

Holding Alex's gaze, Fox slithered out of his borrowed t-shirt and jeans, then slipped both hands past the elastic band of his underwear, stopping momentarily to fondle himself before pushing the cotton garment down and off. As Fox undressed, Alex removed the rest of his own clothing then stood over the older man, staring down at him. He raised one hand to Fox's mouth and gently traced soft swell of flesh. 

"I know you want me to fuck you," he rasped, his fingers trembling as Fox began to lick and suck at them, "but I need you to do something for me first." 

Incurring a frustrated grumble of protest, Alex removed his fingers from his lover's mouth and pulled the nightstand drawer open, removing a condom and the lube. Tearing the packet open, he efficiently applied the latex and tossed the foil aside. 

Needing no instruction, Fox moved to the edge of the bed and, grasping Alex's cock at its base, tentatively nuzzled the shaft before dragging his tongue along its length. 

Golden brown lashes rose halfway, and a glittering, gilded stare fixed itself on Alex as the prone man continued to slowly lick his cock. Fox's other hand slid down over his own erection and began caressing the rigid organ, drawing an intensely aroused gasp from his lover. 

Alex lovingly petted the other man's head then clasped his fingers in his hair and thrust forward gently, pressing the head of his cock against the full mouth. "Take it," he whispered unevenly, suppressing a sob when Fox opened his mouth and swallowed him completely. 

"Shit," he breathed, knowing that being in Fox's mouth again would be sheer, fucking heaven, but this was far more intense than any of his tormented imaginings. The hot flush of lust ricocheted through his body at lightning speed, tensing every muscle and taking him treacherously close to the edge. 

"Fox...God, Fox," he croaked softly, praying that Fox heard the desperation in his tone because there was no way in hell he was going to be able to call up enough strength to stop him. 

Reluctant though Fox was to release Alex, he understood his lover's unstable condition, and relinquished his hold on his prize. He gazed up at the younger man, displaying a stunning pout while he writhed against the rumpled sheets. 

"Alex..." 

"I'm sorry," Alex cooed, regaining a fragment of control. "But I was ready to blow." He reached out and cupped the other man's cheek, winning a soft moan and an agitated nuzzle. "Later, okay? When, hopefully, I'm not so sensitive." 

The pout remained until Alex lowered himself to the bed and kissed it away. 

"You know how much I love to feel your mouth around me," he murmured, letting his tongue pass over Fox's lower lip as one hand roamed the length of his torso. "It's been so long, baby. I can't...I just can't hang on." 

Fox watched his lover's eyes, whimpering at the touch of his hand, and the sound of his voice. 

Alex tucked the wandering hand under Fox's rear and squeezed gently. 

"I want to be deep inside you...and I want it to be my hand around your cock when we come." He lifted his head a bit, staring down into adoring eyes. "Do you understand? I want to make you come. I need to." 

Saying nothing, Fox laced his fingers through Alex's hair and pulled him down for a heated kiss that when broken, left them both gasping. He turned over then, lying on his stomach, letting Alex caress his back and ass before assuming the position of ultimate submission. 

Hand still trembling over his lover's back, Alex pulled himself up to his knees and began kissing along the same path. His tongue inched out, occasionally licking at the warm, velvety skin, and by the time he reached the small of Fox's back, the older man had already begun to unravel. 

"Please," Fox whispered breathlessly, his plea lost in the softness of the pillow his face was pressed against. 

"So pretty," Alex murmured against the curve of one muscular cheek before dragging his tongue over the smooth surface. Fox twitched and moaned as the contact grew more intimate, and he lifted his head, insuring this time that he would be heard. 

"Alex...baby, please." 

"Please what?" Alex nipped at the tensing flesh, incurring an abbreviated yelp. 

"Fuck me," Fox whined, slowly thrusting his hips. "Give it to me...I need you..." 

"Will you always need me, Fox?" Alex asked, removing his condom and donning another. 

"Always." "Do you swear?" 

There was a desperate kind of uncertainty hidden in the soft, smoky question, but Fox was too far gone to hear it. 

"Yes," he hissed, jerking against the blunt head of his lover's cock as it pushed forward. "I swear...swear to God I'll always need you. I love you, Alex. Christ, I love you so much..." 

A barely audible sob escaped Alex's throat as the heat of Fox's words and his body simultaneously enveloped him. He fought back the sudden sting that threatened his eyes and nose, and willed himself to concentrate on Fox and the incredible sensations generated by his cock driving deeper into his lover's tight ass. 

Golden brown lashes swept down over passion-glazed eyes as Fox felt himself being completely filled. He emitted a soft whimper as his body trembled with the joy of once again being claimed by its sole owner, and it began to move as Alex moved, rocking slowly to the tempo the younger man had set. 

With his whole heart and soul he had missed Alex. Missed him to the very edge of complete mental breakdown. And his body...his body had ached every day and every night for the only one who could ever make him feel whole. It had cried its need with every painful breath and every vivid memory. Fox had never felt agony like it, and the thought that he might never again feel the heat of Alex's possession, the sweetness of his love, would have surely driven him mad. But the nightmare was over. Alex was here. Holding him. Buried tightly inside him, and he was whole again. 

Alex thrust gently, fully into Fox, loving the expression of bliss on his lover's face. One hand wandered the length of his back, stroking the tensing muscles as the other guided his hips, and Alex gave voice to Fox's thoughts. 

"I missed you s-so much," he gasped, holding himself in check as he continued to slide in and out of the other man. "Dreamed of you...this...every night...every...never felt so much pain..." 

He disengaged, turned Fox over onto his back, then, encouraging the older man to wrap his legs around his waist, slid back inside. 

"I want to see you," he whispered, brushing his fingers over his lover's exquisite mouth. "Beautiful Fox." His hand left Fox's mouth and wrapped his erection in a loving grip, stroking lightly. 

Fox arched his throat, tilting his head back into the pillows, and his mouth fell open, allowing a soft moan to escape. His hands glided up his lover's arms and came to rest on his shoulders, caressing and massaging as Alex took him slowly to heaven. 

"Alex..." The word left Fox's lips on breathy sigh, and his head rolled slowly from side to side as the speed of Alex's thrusts increased ever so slightly. He attempted to speak further, but the sound refused to come out as anything other than a desperate groan. 

"So beautiful," Alex murmured, leaning in for a soul deep kiss. As his tongue swept the interior of Fox's mouth, his hand tightened its grip on the older man's cock, pumping faster. He began to thrust with a bit more force, and Fox tore himself away from the kiss, screaming as the younger man's cock nudged his prostate. 

"Oh, God," Fox cried, arching up against his lover. "Alex, I...can't. Can't....please..." 

"I know," Alex gasped, moving faster. "I know..." 

"Don't stop," Fox begged, clutching at Alex, pulling him in close. 

Alex gritted his teeth as he felt the rush of orgasm fast approaching. "Never," he grated, jerking Fox in time to his now frantic thrusts. "Come with me. Now, Fox..." He couldn't hold it another second. "N-now." 

Almost simultaneously, the two men exploded, screaming and twisting together, their bodies shuddering with the force of release. Alex collapsed onto Fox's chest, gasping for air, and slipped out of him. He removed the spent condom and tossed it aside as the older man wrapped him in a weak embrace, purring with contentment. 

"Jesus, you're incredible." 

Alex emitted a deep sigh and lifted his head. Looking down into sparkling green-gold eyes, he shook his head. 

"*You're* incredible. You make me feel so..." He drew a steadying breath. "...loved..." 

"You are," Fox whispered, pulling Alex in for a tender kiss. "Someday I'm going to make you understand how much." 

They lay together quietly, caressing and stroking each other until Alex pulled himself away and looked down at his fatigued lover. 

"I should get my stuff together." 

Fox listened to the soft announcement and nodded. "I know. I'd better call the airline." He went silent for a moment then asked once more. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to..." 

"I'm sure," Alex replied, reaching out to smooth the hair away from his lover's face. He gave Fox a soft smile then rose from the bed, picked up the discarded condom and quietly left the room. 

Fox lay alone, basking for a bit longer in deep satisfaction, then he hauled himself out of bed and located his cell phone. Getting the number for the airport from information, he dialed the airline. 

"Good afternoon. I need to make reservations for two one-way tickets to Washington D.C..." 

* * *

"Welcome back, Agent Scully." 

"Thank you, sir." 

A.D. Skinner rose from his seat and walked around to the front of his desk. Sharp eyes peered down at the woman who stood before him. 

"Have you spoken to him since he told you he was coming back?" 

"No, sir. I tried calling his cell phone when I landed, but he hasn't got it on." 

Skinner nodded. "And you really think Krycek is coming back with him?" 

"I'm almost a hundred percent sure. He wouldn't leave there without him." 

"This is just too unbelievable for words." 

"I know, sir. But if we want Mulder back at the Bureau, we've got to accept that Krycek is part of the package. For a little while, at least." "What do you mean?" 

Scully inhaled deeply then let the breath out. 

"I'm betting....I'm hoping that in a relatively short time Mulder will come to realize on his own that Alex Krycek is not the divine being he's made him out to be, and this farce of a relationship will end." 

Skinner shook his head, keeping his gaze fixed on the redhead. 

"What if he doesn't? What if Krycek keeps him so mesmerized that he doesn't see? We both know what a good actor he is." 

"That's true. But even the best of liars can't keep their true natures suppressed for long. Krycek is...well, I told you what he's been out there doing. He'll get tired of playing the monogamy game. He'll screw up, and he'll be history." 

"You sound so positive." 

"I am." 

//I'll see to it.// 

Skinner paused for a moment, thinking about what Scully had just said. He gave the agent a curt nod then moved back behind his desk. Taking his chair, he dismissed the woman. When she was gone, he leaned back, staring into space. 

The day Alex Krycek had removed himself from their lives had been one of the oddest in his memory. A combination of relief and some other feelings he'd just as soon not think about had settled over him, all of which faded with the progression of time. As well it should have. But he couldn't help think from time to time about that night on his balcony. The night he'd hate himself for, for the rest of his days. 

Not that he'd given a particular good damn about how it affected Krycek. The man was scum. Worse than scum. It was his own reaction to the bastard that had eaten at him afterward. It bothered him still, though not as often as it once had. 

But now, with Krycek's impending return, the memory had resurfaced. In vivid detail. 

//Shit.// 

He recalled the anger. The hatred. It was so strong. So palpable. He could feel it coursing through his every vein. He could taste its bitter tang in his mouth. And when after he'd cuffed the younger man to the railing of his balcony and then started roughing him up, it just sort of progressed from there. 

He hadn't intended to do what he'd done, but once he'd started humping the restrained man's back, he couldn't stop. And when he'd finished, he'd fallen away from Krycek, stumbling dazedly to his feet and moved into the apartment while the younger man silently curled into as small a ball as his position would allow. 

He'd regained his composure and gone up for a shower, then dressed and left the apartment without so much as a glance in Krycek's direction. 

He'd lain awake many a night after that, trying to come up with a plausible explanation for his behavior, and that little voice, the one way back in the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind whispered the same thing over and over, and he tried his utmost not to listen. 

//He's a fucking sexy boy, Walt. Double crossing, murdering liar or not. 

Everything about him screams 'fuck me'. And you want to. You know you want to.// 

And now, within a matter of a day or two, he'd be back. 

//With Mulder. Christ. His lover.// 

And according to Scully, Mulder wasn't fooling around. His patience was absolutely nil in regards to any Krycek bashing. His protection mode was in overdrive, and God help the fool who so much as sent a funny look in Krycek's direction... 

Scully was right. If Mulder were as intensely focused on Krycek as she said he was, it wouldn't last. It couldn't possibly go on like that for long without burning itself out. 

Or being doused with a little cold water. 

//It won't last. It'll die, then he'll be gone. And you won't have to worry about a thing.// 

//What's to worry about? It's not like you're going to lose all control and go running over to Mulder's the minute you know Krycek is alone. You're not to throw him up on the nearest table and fuck the hell out of him.// 

//You'd like to, though, wouldn't you?// 

Giving himself a quick mental shake, Skinner left the silent question unanswered and went back to work. 

* * *

"You're very quiet." 

Alex looked away from the window and into the face of his concerned lover. He gave Fox a hint of a smile and shrugged. "You feel okay?" 

"Fine." 

Fox covered the younger man's hand with his own. "We should be landing soon. Having second thoughts yet?" 

Alex shook his head. 

"Okay, but do me a favor?" Fox tightened his hold on Alex's hand. "If you decide you can't do it...if being back in D.C. is getting on your last good nerve, or you can't stand to look at Scully, or what*ever*...I want you to tell me. Don't go taking off on me." 

"I won't run," Alex promised softly. 

"And you won't keep things from me? If something is bothering you, you'll tell me?" 

There was a fraction of a moment's hesitation, then Alex nodded. 

"Alex? You promise?" 

Emerald eyes slid away from Fox's face, and the other man nodded again, this time adding a soft, "Mmm hmm." 

Not at all sure he believed the half -hearted assurance, Fox let the subject drop. He raised the younger man's hand to his lips and deposited a tender kiss on the back. 

"I love you," he whispered then blew out a soft sigh as Alex slowly leaned over and rested his head on his shoulder. 

They sat that way for the remaining twenty minutes of the flight, incurring a few disapproving glances, but Fox's answering glare discouraged the offended few, and they quickly turned away. 

As the plane dropped its altitude and broke through the clouds, rain fell in torrents, mercilessly pelting the window. 

Alex lifted his head from Fox's shoulder and looked out, barely able to make out the lights of the field below. He drew a shaky breath as the captain announced their approach to Dulles, and he turned his eyes to the front of the cabin. 

"Hey," Fox called softly. "You okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"You sure? You look a little pale." 

Alex shook his head. "Just...not one for landings." 

The older man smiled. "Huh?" 

"I can live with takeoffs. I'm fine with the actual flight, but I don't...I really don't like landings. 'Specially in bad weather." 

"I didn't know." 

"How could you?" Alex sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and glanced briefly out the window before again looking to Fox. 

Fox reached for the younger man's hand, lacing their fingers together, and squeezed gently. He spoke no words, but his touch, and the tranquil green and gold of his eyes held enough comfort for Alex. 

The plane landed smoothly despite the weather, and most of Alex's tension drained away as they disembarked and headed hand in hand for the baggage carousel. 

"You gonna call Scully?" Alex asked as they walked. 

"Nope." 

"Fox..." 

"It's late," Fox explained. "She'll see me at the office in the morning." "She's gonna be pissed that you didn't call." 

"Like I care." 

"You shouldn't get your homecoming off to a bad start. It's bad enough you brought me back with you, but if you don't at least call to let her know you got in safely..." 

Fox heaved an exasperated sigh as the two stopped in front of the carousel. "Okay, look," he started, eyes scanning the passing luggage. "After we get our bags and get a car, I'll call her." He located his own bag and pulled it off of the belt then glanced at the other man. "Okay?" 

Alex nodded and pointed to the black leather bag heading their way. Fox got to it first and hefted it up off of the belt. Alex's second bag showed up a few seconds later, and the younger man retreived it, then the two made their way to the car rental agent. Within half an hour of arriving at the airport, they were on their way to Alexandria. 

Alex sat quietly beside Fox, listening to the rhythmic sweep of the windshield wipers as they continuously pushed away sheet after sheet of rain. His eyes watched his lover's hand as it moved in the darkness, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Fox withdrew his cell phone, turning it on, then grinned over at Alex as he punched in Scully's number. 

"Actually, I'll enjoy waking her out of a sound...Scully...it's me." 

Scully pulled herself up on one elbow and squinted at her alarm clock. One thirty-eight. 

"Mulder?" she whispered, trying to shake off the sleepy fog she was in. "Where are you?" 

"In a rental car, on our way home from the airport." 

"Oh...uh..." She ran a hand across her face and through her hair. "Thank...thank you for calling me." 

"I wasn't going to. Alex insisted." 

//Wasn't that sweet of him?// 

Fox listened to the silence, smirking. 

"You there, Scully?" 

"Yeah. Well. Are...you're coming in to the office tomorrow, right?" 

"I'll be there." 

"All right. See you tomorrow." 

Fox disconnected without saying goodbye and shoved the phone back into his pocket. 

"See? She didn't appreciate your thoughtfulness." 

"That's okay," Alex replied, turning his face to his lover. "It wasn't her I was thinking of." 

Fox smiled and directed his attention back to the road. 

A while later, the car pulled up in front of Hegal Place, and Fox killed the engine, looking out at the rain. 

"I'd kinda hoped it'd let up, but..." He looked to Alex and shrugged. "Guess we're gonna get wet again." 

Alex nodded and opened the door, flipping up the collar of his leather jacket as if it would shield him from the freezing downpour. He moved quickly to the back of the car and helped Fox remove the bags, then the two entered the building. 

As they made their way to the fourth floor, Alex glanced around, remembering how many times he'd snuck in and out of this building. Now he was walking through the hall, heading for apartment forty-two again, not to steal or to plant anything. 

To live. For a while, anyway. 

They approached the door, and Fox pulled out his keys, fumbling with them for a few seconds before finding the correct key and opening the door. He entered the apartment first, turning on a couple of lights, then spun in Alex's direction. "Come on," he called softly, holding out his hand to the younger man, who had only come a few steps into the apartment. 

Alex put his two bags down and stepped forward, taking Fox's hand. The older man pulled him forward, wrapping him in a warm embrace, then kissed the tip of his nose. He looked around the room then back at Alex. 

"Do whatever you want to do to make it feel more like home." 

Alex frowned at the other man. "No, I...I'm not going to start turning your apartment upside down..." 

"Why not? Don't you think it could use a little redecoration?" He grinned. "You know it's looked exactly the same for years now." 

"Obviously because you like it that way." 

"No, because I'm lazy." Fox inhaled and let the breath out slowly. "I...it was just someplace to sleep before. Now, it's gonna be a home." He leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "Now you're here." 

Alex submitted to a tender kiss then found himself pressed to Fox's chest, his head resting on the older man's shoulder. His arms wound around Fox's waist, his fingers curling in the soft leather of the other's jacket. 

"After all these years," Fox whispered into Alex's hair, "this place is finally going to feel like home." He drew back and lifted Alex's head, fixing a shining, gilded stare on him. 

"We're starting out fresh. Please go ahead and change whatever you want." A thought came to him. "Unless you think you might want to get a different place. Someplace bigger, maybe..." He grinned broadly. "A house..." 

"Wait, whoa, whoa," Alex interrupted. "Slow down, okay?" 

He couldn't even let Fox think about taking as huge a leap as buying a house. A house was so...permanent... 

"I...I'll just..." he looked around. "Pick up a little here..." 

"Yeah, it is a little messy," Fox admitted, looking at the clutter. "Sorry, I'm not much of a...son of a bitch!" 

"What?" Alex stood where Fox had left him, staring in confusion as the older man strode over to his aquarium. 

"You little..." "What's wrong?" 

"They're gone. All except for that little bastard." He jabbed his finger at the glass, indicating the angelfish that darted back and forth between the little skin diver and the pink plastic bush. 

Alex came to stand beside Fox and peered into the tank. 

"Where are they?" 

"Ask him." 

"Huh?" 

"He ate them." 

"How d'you know?" 

"He's done it before when Scully and I have been away for more than a few days. All this time I've been gone, she'd probably still been coming to feed them, but if he doesn't eat every single day, he starts eyeing the other fish. The little fucker." 

Alex camouflaged an amused smile. "So, why do you keep him?" 

"I ask myself that every time this happens. One day," he sneered, pointing at the fish, "you're going to catch me in the wrong mood, and I swear, you're going to meet the Tidy Bowl man." 

"He's a survivor," Alex commented softly. "You can't fault him for that." 

Fox grimaced at the lone fish once more then turned to Alex. 

"I'll decide what I'm going to do about him tomorrow. You tired?" 

Alex shrugged. "Not really. Out west it's only ten-thirty." 

"I know. I'm not really tired either, but I guess I should try and get some sleep. Gonna be a long day tomorrow." He looked at their bags. "What d'you say we just leave these here and worry about them tomorrow?" 

"Okay." 

They removed their jackets, and Fox took the younger man's hand, leading him toward the bedroom. He stopped only a couple of feet into the room and cursed softly. 

"Ah, damn. Gotta make the bed." 

He walked over to the closet and, pulling out a set of sheets and pillow cases, dropped all on a nearby chair except for the fitted sheet. As he began to wrestle it onto the mattress, Alex pitched in to help, and in no time the bed was made. 

That done, Fox approached his lover, winding his arms around him. 

"Thanks. Now, how about a shower? Maybe it'll make us sleepy." 

Alex nodded and followed the older man into the bathroom, where the two undressed then stepped into the tub and under the warm spray. As Fox closed his eyes and turned his face up to the deluge, Alex watched, mesmerized as the water ran down his lover's body, zigzagging in frantic, crooked lines. His gaze darted to Fox's hands, following them as they moved over his chest and arms then smoothed his drenched hair away from his face. They reached for the bath sponge and shower gel, and as Fox began to wash himself, Alex reached out, covering the older man's hands with his own. Soft, greenish-gray eyes met deepest green, and Alex removed the sponge from Fox's loosened grip. 

A low moan excaped Fox's throat as Alex began to wash him slowly, his hand moving with gentle purpose over every inch of flesh. He stood motionless, feeling the glide of the slick sponge over his skin, and the warmth of Alex's breath against the back of his neck as the younger man came to stand behind him. His head fell back, and a long sigh rose and blended with the swish of the water as Alex's hands slid around to the front of his body, each moving of its own accord, distributing thick trails of lather everywhere they could reach. 

"Close your eyes," Alex whispered into Fox's ear, his hands stroking steadily downward. 

Fox obeyed the soft command and waited, trembling as the sponge brushed the tip of his engorged cock. Alex lingered there for a brief time, teasing the flushed head, then moved on, stroking Fox's rigid length before closing his hand and wrapping the sponge around the base. 

The older man's body spasmed once, and he sounded a clipped grunt in response to the soft, soapy presence that now glided over his cock. He raised his arms, dropping them back and around the younger man's neck, and his head fell back on Alex's shoulder as his hips began a slow rocking motion. 

Alex smiled against Fox's stubbled cheek then turned the older man's head toward his. He teased his lover's flushed lips with his own as the hand that held the sponge continued to work the other's thrusting cock. 

//So good...oh, Christ, so...no...no, too...too slow. Faster...harder, please. I need...need...// 

Thought after fractured thought passed through Fox's muddled mind as Alex continued his leisurely pace, clearly in no hurry to get him off. But he was unable to give voice to any of them. All he could do was stand there on passion-weakened legs and accept the pleasurable torment that his lover had chosen to inflict upon him. 

Alex felt the vibration of Fox's whimper against his mouth, and his already throbbing erection began to pound. Pushing his agony as far away as he could, he brought his free hand down to Fox's chest, stroking the wet scattering of hair before skimming a constricted nipple. Fox's body shuddered violently against his, a loud gasp escaping past his gritted teeth, and when Alex rolled the nipple between his fingers and tugged gently, the gasp converted to an insistent whine. He wasn't going to last much longer. As aroused as he was, Alex's gentle touches did little to allay his body's increasingly insistent need for release. Only complete cessation of contact with his lover's hands would stop it, and Alex was well aware of that fact. 

If tomorrow had not been a weekday...if Fox didn't have to go to work and face Skinner, Alex would have teased him for a while longer. But Fox needed to be as well rested as he could be for his walk into the lion's den. 

The thought of Fox having to sit there while Skinner reamed him about his 'irresponsible actions' the last several weeks went up one side of Alex and down the other, but there was nothing he could do about it. There was plenty he would like to do, and one thing that he should do, but all were out of the question. 

All he could do was be here when Fox got home and try somehow to make it up to him... 

Fox stiffened, his back arching sharply, and he cried out desperate, nonsensical sounds as Alex firmed his grip and pumped his cock more quickly. The pressure was building, his endurance was at its limit, and Alex, God love him, didn't attempt to hold him off. Arm banded around his chest, the younger man held him in a tight embrace and took him the rest of the way. 

As Fox squirmed against him, Alex gritted his teeth and forced himself to remove every last shred of focus from his aching cock, which was snugly wedged between himself and his lover. He pressed his lips to Fox's ear and gave soft encouragement as the older man teetered on the edge. 

"Come on, baby...let go. Let it go..." 

Fox's deep groans of pleasure filled the enclosed space as he came into the sponge quickly milking his cock, and were it not for the arm clamped securely around him, he might well have sunk to the floor of the tub. But Alex held fast, and when Fox had been completely drained of his strength, he leaned heavily against the younger man, a soft moan rumbling in his throat. 

Alex kissed the side of Fox's head and gently turned him so that they were now face to face. 

"Better hurry up and get out of here before the hot water runs out," he said, rinsing the sponge under the water then reaching for the shower gel. As he straightened up, Fox pitched forward, resting his head on his shoulder. 

"Tired now." 

"Good," Alex whispered into his lover's dripping hair then put a couple of inches space between them. "Then let's get washed and get to bed before you wake up." 

A few minutes later, both men were washed and dried, and Alex led a sleepy, satisfied Fox to bed. He got his lover settled under the sheet then hesitated a moment before crawling in next to him. 

The moment Fox felt his warmth, he gravitated to Alex's side and wrapped himself around the younger man. As he did, his thigh came in contact with the rock solid evidence of Alex's unfulfilled state. 

Alex stopped the hand that had traveled down to verify his condition, and brought it up to his mouth, planting a soft kiss in Fox's palm. 

"Alex..." 

"Shh. Go to sleep." 

"But you..." 

Again Alex interrupted the sleepy voice. "I'm fine. Now, come on; morning is going to come awfully quick. You need to sleep." 

Fox emitted a soft sigh but put up no more argument. Minutes later, Alex lay listening to his soft, steady breaths and knew that he was asleep. 

Repeatedly, he combed his fingers through Fox's hair as he stared up at the ceiling, wondering what new hell tomorrow would bring. 

* * *

Four a.m. 

//Jesus Christ.// 

Walter Skinner shifted position for the twelfth time in the last half hour. He'd seen two-thirty, three o'clock, three-thirty... 

And now he was considering just saying 'fuck it', and getting up. Maybe a good hard work out would do more for him than a decent night's sleep....which he sure as shit didn't get. 

He'd spent all of the previous evening thinking about today and his first meeting with his errant agent in just about two months. He'd thought about what Mulder would have to say for himself...what he'd say in return...considered disciplinary action and wondered if such measures would do more harm than good. 

And he'd thought about Alex Krycek. 

And thought about him. 

And thought some more. 

Finally, he'd picked himself up and gone to bed at around twelve. He'd dropped off quickly, but just before two-thirty, his eyes had opened. In the short time he'd been asleep, the dark, green-eyed man had invaded his dreams and woken him, bringing him into a stark upright position, eyes wide, heart and cock pounding. 

He'd managed to calm himself enough to lie back and try to sleep, but sleep would not come. And now, almost two hours later, he lay here still thinking about him. 

Malevolent shadow, appearing and disappearing without a trace. 

Conscienceless killer. Seductive, deceitful, double dealing... 

Fucking gorgeous whore, who had somehow managed to secure a place in Fox Mulder's life. 

This morning, after a night of God only knew what, they shared Mulder's bed. He could see them tangled together in the sheets, warm and naked, and flushed from hours of satisfied sleep. 

The image irked the shit out of him. 

What the hell was on Mulder's mind? Okay, so he was sure that Krycek was a superior fuck...he just...it was one of those things he just knew. But Jesus Christ. To risk his career, his friendship with Scully... 

Scully had informed him that Mulder had gone around the bend. Actually thought he was in love with the snake. He wondered what Krycek could possibly have done or said to so completely mesmerize the one man who had more reason to hate him than any other. Whatever it was, he'd apparently done a hell of a job. 

And now, Mulder was going to be harder to deal with than ever before. What to do, what to do... 

Skinner dragged his hands over his face and the top of his head. 

//Wait. Just wait and see what happens today, and take it from there. What the hell else can you do?// 

He threw the sheet and light blanket off, groaning at the discomfort of his enduring erection as he heaved himself out of bed, and headed for the shower. 

//Oh yeah, this day's gonna be one for the books.// 

* * *

A soft sigh arose from the pile of pillows, and the sable head slowly lifted and turned. Matching eyelashes rose halfway, and dark eyes, clouded by sleep looked across the brief distance at the fuzzy image in front of them. 

A tiny smile curved Fox's lips as Alex began to awaken. 

"Time to get up?" the younger man mumbled, struggling to open his eyes completely. 

"For me it is," Fox answered, lifting a hand to the other's head. "You go back to sleep." 

"No. No, I'll..." 

"Alex, go back to sleep," Fox insisted, kissing the warm forehead. "It's six o'clock. There's no reason for you to be up this early." 

"Except that you are." Alex shifted onto his back and skimmed Fox's jaw with his fingertips. "Can't send you off to the trenches without a decent breakfast at least." 

Fox smiled, brushing his lips over his lover's fingers. "Thanks," he croaked, "but after almost two months away, I don't think there'd be anything here worth eating. Besides, I haven't got an appetite this morning." 

"Worried?" 

"Nah. But I can't say that I'm looking forward to tangling with Skinner. I don't know how well I'll be able to hold myself in check." He gave the younger man a sheepish grin. "Maybe I shouldn't try. Then he'll fire me, and it'll all be over." 

"Don't say that. I couldn't stand for you to lose your job or anything else on my account." 

"Okay," Fox sighed, kissing the tip of Alex's nose. "I'll behave." 

"Thank you." 

"Unless he really pisses me off." 

"Fox..." 

"Better get my ass up." Fox started to rise from the bed then dropped back down. He cupped Alex's stubbled cheek and placed a light kiss on his mouth. "When I get home," he whispered, his thumb sweeping back and forth over the roughened skin, "I'm going to give you a proper thank you for last night." 

"I don't need any thanks," Alex murmured, understanding what Fox was referring to. "Don't you know that touching you feels as good to me as it does to you?" 

"Yeah," Fox said, directing a steady, greenish-gray stare at the other man. "It was more than obvious last night." 

No answer. 

Slowly, Fox lowered his head and strung a trail of tender kisses along Alex's collarbone. 

"Fox..." Alex brought his hands up between their bodies and pushed gently against the older man's chest. "You'll be late." 

"Can't get much later than I already am. What's another half hour or so?" 

"No, Fox." Alex succeeded in putting some distance between them. "Skinner'll think you're thumbing your nose at him. You don't need any more trouble than you've already got." 

"I'm more concerned right now with what you need." 

"What I..." Alex closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as Fox swept back down to suck on his throat. "...What I need is for you to get to work on time." 

Fox raised his head and gave the younger man a beautiful, sulky pout. "You mean you don't need me at all?" 

"You know I do," Alex whispered, arching his hips and letting Fox feel the extent of his 'need'. "I'll save it for you." 

Fox heaved a long sigh then smiled down at the younger man. "Promise?" 

"Scout's honor." 

Low chuckle. "You were never a boyscout." 

"How d' you know?" 

"Call it a hunch." 

Alex returned the chuckle. "Okay, come on. Up." 

Finally, he got Fox up and into the shower, and while the older man was in the bathroom, he poked around the bedroom, finding underwear, socks, a suit, and a decent tie. 

Fox emerged from the bathroom, towel draped around his waist, hair damp and wild, and found his clothes all laid out for him on the chair at the foot of his bed, and Alex, now dressed only in the jeans he'd discarded last night, unpacking his suitcase. The younger man gave him a brief smile then returned to his task. 

"I can do that later," Fox offered, running his fingers through his hair. 

"Why? I've got all day," Alex argued, sorting the clothes. 

"You're not here to do my laundry, Alex. I don't expect you to. You're not domestic help." 

Alex dropped the shirt he held into the pile on his right and approached the older man. Winding one arm around Fox's neck, the other stroked his warm chest. 

"I know that. But you keep telling me you want to take care of me, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"Why?" 

"Why, what?" 

"Why do you want to take care of me?" 

Fox's hands moved slowly up and down the other's bare back, and he leaned forward, until their foreheads touched. 

"Because I love you." 

"Uh huh. And I love you." His voice softened and took on a pleading tone. 

"Can't we take care of each other?" 

A slow smile spread across Fox's face, and he nodded in silent agreement. 

"Good," Alex whispered, planting a soft kiss on his lover's mouth. He released Fox, picked up his undershirt, and pressed it to his chest. "Now get dressed, dammit; you've wasted enough time." 

At last, Fox got ready and the two moved into the living room, where he pulled his coat out of the closet. He turned to face the other man and took notice of the expression on his face. 

"Babe?" he called, reaching out to touch Alex's face. "What is it?" 

Alex shrugged and cast his gaze down to the floor. 

"I guess it's just..." He looked up into Fox's worried eyes. "You look like Agent Mulder again." 

Fox's mouth twitched into a tiny grin. "That's Special Agent Mulder." He stepped forward, holding the other's eyes with his own. "And he loves you." He kissed Alex again and moved to the door. "I'll see you later. Oh, and listen, there's a spare apartment key in the top left hand drawer of my desk, okay?" 

Alex nodded and stood quietly while Fox opened the door and stepped into the hall. The door closed softly a second later, and he remained in that spot, staring at nothing in particular. When he finally decided to move, he pivoted and looked around the apartment. 

Home? 

Aesthetically speaking, it was no worse than either of the apartments he'd had out west. A little bigger maybe. Not as neat, but Fox did tell him to do whatever he wanted to make the place more presentable. 

He shuffled his hands through his hair and sighed. 

Okay, that was do-able. Though it mattered little . The only thing that truly mattered was that Fox was here. 

And so it was home. 

At least until Fox decided otherwise. 

* * *

Walt Skinner stood looking out his office window, watching the Hoover Building come to life. 

When he'd come in at seven, the place was almost deserted. He'd ridden the elevator up with only A.D. Miller, and when he'd gotten off on his floor, the sound of his footsteps echoed loudly in his ears. 

He'd walked into the empty outer office, passing his secretary's desk, and entered his inner office. He'd draped his jacket over the back of his chair and tried to settle down with some work, but the imminent appearance of Fox Mulder kept invading his thoughts. 

And now he stood here, watching as scores of people entered the building, beginning their day. 

And he waited for the one who would surely add an inordinate amount of stress to his. 

The soft knock on the door startled him, and he turned in time to see Kimberly poke her head in. 

"Good morning, sir." 

"Morning, Kimberly." 

"Is there anything you'd like before I get started? Coffee? Any calls I need to make?" 

"No, thanks...Kim, wait. There is one thing. I have a meeting this morning with Agent Mulder..." 

"He's back?" The smile faded from the secretary's lips face when the A.D began to scowl. 

"Yes. When he comes in, please hold my calls and don't let anyone in to see me. Our meeting is not to be distrubed, is that clear?" "Y-yes, sir. Is that all?" 

"That's all." 

The secretary nodded and quietly slipped away, leaving Skinner to turn back to his place at the window. 

* * *

"You're here." 

"Told you I would be." Fox walked into his basement office, passing his partner and setting a small bag down on his desk. 

Investigating the items on top of the oak surface, he returned his attention to the bag, pulling out a styrofoam cup. He removed the cap and, blowing at the steaming contents, took a small sip. 

"What, Krycek didn't whip you up a four course breakfast this morning?" 

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she began to curse herself. 

"Good, Scully, that's good. I've been here, what? Thirty seconds and already you're starting?" 

Scully held both hands up and backed away. "Sorry. Reflex." 

Fox snorted and took another sip of his coffee. 

"When're you going to see Skinner?" 

"When I finish my coffee." 

Scully nodded and turned to pick up a file from her desk. She rifled through the pages for a number of seconds then cleared her throat and spoke again. "How was your flight?" 

"Fine." 

"You got in pretty late. Couldn't have had much sleep." 

"Enough." 

"You must have some jet lag, though. Maybe you shouldn't put in a full day today. Maybe you should go home early and try to catch up on your sleep." 

Fox turned and gave the woman a curious look. 

"I've never stopped being concerned about you, Mulder. No matter what you think." 

Fifteen minutes later, Fox tossed his empty cup into the trash, closed the file he'd been studying, and adjusted his tie. "You going to see Skinner now?" 

"Yeah." 

Before Scully could wish him luck, Fox walked out of the office, closing the door behind him. 

* * *

Buzz. 

Deep breath. 

Buzz. 

Skinner sat down and hit the intercom button. 

"Yes, Kimberly?" 

"Agent Mulder in to see you, sir." 

"Send him in." 

Seconds later, the door opened, and Fox strode in, looking a bit weary, but otherwise unchanged after his two month absence. 

"Long vacation, Agent." 

//And we're off.// 

"I wouldn't exactly call it a trip to Disneyland," the agent answered. "Not all of it, anyway." 

Skinner rose from his seat and came to lean against the front of his desk. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the other man, who had remained standing. 

"Do you want to give me one reason, Agent Mulder, why I shouldn't can your ass?" 

"I assumed you already had a reason," Fox deadpanned, "since you haven't done so already." 

The A.D.'s top lip twitched, and he swallowed down the urge to strangle the younger man where he stood. 

"You're awfully sarcastic for a man who's skating on some pretty damn thin ice." 

The other man said nothing. He simply stared blankly into Skinner's eyes. "What is this Scully's told me about Alex Krycek?" 

"I'm sure Agent Scully was very precise in her report. Do you really want to hear it again?" 

"There are some things Agent Scully does not have the answers to. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to hear from you how something like... _this_ could possibly have happened." 

Fox shrugged. " _How_ is not an easy thing to explain. I'm still not sure myself. But I've stopped questioning it." "Why?" 

"Because..." Fox stopped, inhaling deeply then exhaling. "It's not important any more." 

"You know, Agent Mulder, I guess you're right about that. It isn't important any more. What's important now, is why it's continued." His voice rose a few levels. "And why the hell you took over five weeks unauthorized leave to chase a man who's never been anything but trouble to you...to any of us!" 

"That's personal, sir, and excuse me, but no business of yours." 

"No?" Skinner growled. "You made it my business when you decided to go UA for weeks on end." 

Fox displayed a wry grin. "I could give you your explanation. But you won't believe me any more than Scully does." 

"Try me." 

"Okay..." Fox moved to his usual chair and dropped into it. Clear, hazel eyes looked up at the man standing in front of him. "I love Alex." 

Skinner's head snapped to one side, and he said nothing. 

"But that's not news to you. Scully's already told you that crazy, off-his-rocker Mulder thinks he's in love with Alex Krycek." 

"Yes, she did. But hearing it from you...Mulder, forget about all the things Krycek has done in the past. Think about what he is now. He had a chance to straighten his life out after everything was over, and what did he go and do? What did he choose as his next profession?" 

Skinner pushed himself away from the desk and stalked back to the window. He spun around and, teeth clenched, continued his tirade. 

"God almighty, Mulder, he's a prostitute. He sleeps with people for money..." 

Fox sat quietly, watching as the older man ranted. "Does this little fact really not bother you?" 

"I hate what he was doing. He knows that. But he hated it too. Did Scully tell you why he was doing it?" 

"Could there possibly be an acceptable reason?" 

"Cancerman had drained him dry. He had no money left when the consortium went down. But he'd already agreed to leave, and so, per our agreement, he went. He took what little he had stashed, and he went as far away as he could afford to go. 

"He'd wanted to disappear. Live alone in the mountains somewhere. Quiet, lonely life. He could have done that if he hadn't been cleaned out. So...he did what he felt he had to do to make up for the money he'd lost." 

"And, what? They wouldn't let him wear his leather jacket over the Dunkin' Donuts uniform?" 

Fox paused, staring daggers at the A.D. before continuing. 

"He needed to make a lot of money in a short time if he was going to salvage what precious little was left of himself. To that end, he decided on something he knew he was good at, and didn't involve killing anyone." 

"And he knew he was good as whoring? Was he doing it here too?" 

"In a manner of speaking. He was the consortium's 'boy'." 

One dark eyebrow arched over the rim of Skinner's glasses. 

"Before he became a player, he was on call...for more than just your garden variety spy assignments. The old men had an itch, they made him scratch it." 

A look of disgust crossed Skinner's face, but he remained silent. 

"Pretty repulsive, huh?" Fox asked softly. "Well, if nothing else, the old bastards had good taste. He is pretty irresistible." He fixed a hard, amber stare on the other man. "Isn't he?" 

Skinner blinked. "How would I know?" 

"You know. And I know you know." 

The older man stood frozen, holding his last breath. 

"There's nothing I can do about things that happened in the past. Nothing can be changed or erased, but just so you know..." The stare grew more intense. "I won't stand by and let him be hurt in any way. I love him, and I'll protect him to my last breath." 

Skinner's breath left him finally, in a hard snort. "Since when does Krycek need protection?" 

"Since he's grown too tired to do it for himself. Since he's finally allowed himself to be open and vulnerable. It's a new experience for him, and he doesn't quite know what to do with it. He's easily thrown off balance, easily hurt..." 

"And a damn good actor. Of course, we always knew that about him. Some of us still know it." 

"You know nothing," Fox hissed. "Neither does Scully. Leave him alone, Walter. Both of you." 

Skinner stared at the other man, noting the determined, feral gleam in his eyes. His only defense was to assert his authority. He drew himself up to his full height, squaring his jaw, and stared directly at his angry agent. 

"You're hardly in a position to issue warnings, Agent. You've put your job in serious danger because of this...man..." 

"So you've said. Look, do me a favor, okay? Reprimand me, suspend me, fire me; do whatever you're going to do, and let's dispense with all this posturing." 

"That's it? You've got nothing else to say for yourself?" 

Fox shrugged. "Just this. I did what I had to do. I'm not sorry about it. Given the same circumstances, I wouldn't do it any differently. So...don't expect an apology. You're not going to get one." 

Skinner stared in mute frustration. 

His unrepentant agent stared back, not backing down an inch. 

Then finally, "You're suspended. Three weeks without pay, and a formal reprimand will go on your record." 

Fox nodded without expression and rose to leave, but Skinner's voice stopped him before he could open the door. 

"Mulder." 

Fox pivoted and cast a flat gaze at the older man. 

"Scully and I, we...we're concerned about you." 

"Thanks." 

"This could end very badly for you." 

Fox cocked his head and gave the other man a curious look. 

"End?" 

"It will end, Mulder. It's just a question of when." 

Fox nodded. "I can give you an approximation if you'd like." 

Skinner waited in silence. 

"About forty, fifty years." 

Sharp brown eyes squinted at the other. "Do you really believe that?" 

"With all my heart." 

"That scares me." 

"Why?" 

"Because..." Skinner stopped to draw a cleansing breath. "...if you truly believe that Krycek is going to spend decades with only you, you're in for some major league pain." His voice lowered to a hoarse whisper. "I don't want to see you hurt. Neither does Scully." 

"Then leave us the hell alone," Fox droned, and before Skinner could respond, he opened the door and stepped into the outer office. 

"See you in three weeks." 

The door closed softly, and he was gone. 

//Wonderful. That's just....that's wonderful.// 

Skinner dropped heavily into his chair and brought his fingers to his temples in an attempt to head off what would surely turn out to be a very large headache. 

* * *

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